The Unnamed Gorkamorka Site

This site is under construction, as can clearly be seen. We don’t mean it as in the old pages one used to see, forever under construction, what we mean is that our theme is still not finished and the general structure of the site is half-done right now. It should be decently finished within the next few days, depending how much Christmas stuff takes up everyone’s concentration time.

Back in October (2009) GeoCities closed its doors, taking many sites with it. Sure, some can be had via Archive.org, but if you can’t easily search for them, sooner or later they disappear. This site may disappear one day too, but hopefully not any time soon.

We’re not on free hosting and the domain is not a free one or a subdomain. We say this to try to indicate a little about our love of Gorkamorka, a game that is very dear to us. Many of us encountered it when we were young and for some it was our first miniatures game. It saddened us to see how Games Workshop treated it and how rapidly it was killed off. More than that, its existence was practically denied until recently. Many of the models were shovelled into WH40K, but it was strangely absent from official websites. “Strangely” because Necromunda, Bloodbowl, and Mordheim all survived this purge.

Gorkamorka isn’t the only game this has happened to, it’s true, but the other games aren’t important to us personally. Looking online, the amount of Gorkamorka content out there is pretty slim. There’s a few sites, but few dedicated ones, fewer still that feel alive.

However, now is actually a great time to start playing Gorkamorka. Back when Gorkamorka came out a whole raft of models were released. Some were pretty good (some of the ork nobz) and others were not so good (some of the metal ork boyz).

A little while after Gorkamorka was released, third edition WH40K came out, some time later the ork codex was released and a chunk of miniatures to boot.

Over the course of fourth and fifth edition, more arrived. The big difference being both the size (aha, big difference, how droll..ugh) and the style. If you’ve seen the original orks from first and second edition WH40K, they look significantly rounder, smaller and, well, un-orky.

Gorkamorka improved this, but the revamp after that really nailed it. Now they’re as big as they should be, as chunky and savage and all the sculpting is a lot better. Our apologies if we offended any sculptors, we just really love the “new” style!

These days you can get a decent sized trukk, far better than the old one. Also available are boxes of boyz (with a nob model thrown in). For £30 you can have a decent mob with room for expansion, not bad.

Even better than that – these days the internet makes other resources much easier to obtain. These days we use Vallejo paints, they come in the same colours, have better pots and come in 17ml pots rather than 12ml Citadel ones. They’re also a hell of a lot cheaper, check this blog post Flamekebab wrote a while ago for a side-by-side comparison.

Also, with the popularity of the internet and wargaming, resources like plasticard and tools can be had for a pittance. For lots of us plasticard was a mythical material in the late 1990s. These days one can order a stack of it from eBay and have it in a couple of days.

Enough of that though, we’ll put a list in a future entry on the site perhaps.

We were hunting around for Gorkamorka related stuff online and came across this. It’s from WD 216, January 1998, which also featured two other scenarios which we’ve been unable to find. On the plus side, we’re trying to get a copy of the magazine on eBay.

HUNT DA DREAD

An industrious Mek and his Spanners uncovered an old Ork war machine in the wreckage of the Hulk. Dragging it back to his workshop, the Mek set about fixin’ it up. However, after loading all its guns, filling up its fuel tank and pressing the big ON button something went seriously wrong. Once activated the machine went on the rampage, killing the Mek and destroying the workshop! It is up to the Orks in the vicinity to destroy the marauding Dread and put an end to its destructive onslaught.

Download PDF

Here’s an old WD article from WD 219, April 1998, written by Adrian Wood. It’s not particularly great, but worth a look if you’re just starting out building terrain.

No game of Gorkamorka is complete without terrain to fight over. The Gorkamorka boxed game itself has lots of card models inside to get you started from the amazing card fort to the plastic sprues which contain oil drums, barricades and fuel cans. But have you ever though about making some of your own Gorkamorka terrain to go alongside it? Grand Warlord Adrian Wood has a go…

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Transcribed from play-by-play Twitter updates:

Nazgrab’s Yella Deff vs. Da Not So N00bz
Scenario: One of our ladz is missin’ (Da Uvver Book, scenario 7)

Da N00bz are not happy – Nazgrab’s Yella Deff have a couple of their missing lads and their beloved war trukk, Keith. Not for long, or so goes the plan. A daring raid is attempted whilst most of the mob are away from the fort, wish them luck!
The boyz are out, but some of the older lads are still home, namely Nazgrab, Grimfang and Choppablock. Unfortunately, only Grimfang manages to dodge the hail of gunfire delivered by Da Not So N00bz as they approach the walls. Both Nazgrab and Choppablock go down! Dakka! Dakka!
Luckily for Nazgrab, all the commotion was loud enough to be heard by the rest of the mob in a nearby canyon. Rushing back on both Krunch and Grin, the boyz open fire and cut a swathe through the attackers.
Da Not So N00bz storm the fort, clambering over the walls and freeing their imprisoned comrades. Nazgrab is back on his feet and attempts a jumping charge from the ramparts. Sadly for him, Eugene has his choppa conveniently waiting for him and the poor Morker nob goes down. Meanwhile, Choppablock and Grimfang join the melee that has broken out at the foot of the walls. It’s not long before a resounding “thud!” is heard as one of the Gorkers takes Choppablock down. Ouch.
Excellent use of krak stikkbombz sees Da Not So N00bz blow the bloody doors off and fire up Keith. Nazgrab’s boyz have had enough! They’re offski! Da Not So N00bz reclaim their boyz and their ride, taking a few moments to leave a few “presents” for the fort’s absent residents..

Result: Victory to Da Not So N00bz

Transcribed from play-by-play Twitter updates:

Da N00bz vs. Nazgrab’s Yella Deff
Scenario: We Woz ‘Ere Furst(Da Uvver Book, scenario 2)

The bitter rivals have once again found themselves facing off, will Da N00bz take back their stolen pride? Once again Grimfang, Da Yella Deff’s de facto second in command is manning Grin, the mob’s buggy. Zagwazza goes a little pale as he sees Keith, Da N00bz enormous trukk barrelling towards him! Argh!
Driving comes naturally to Morkers, otherwise Grin would have been toast. Today Mork smiled upon Zagwazza and Grin pulled through moderately unscathed. The same could not be said for Keith! Its driver, Leonard, tried valiantly but the lads were headed straight for that very solid-looking hill. Crunch! That was Keith immobilised again, ouch.
What Da N00bz lack in driving skills, they certainly make up for in sheer numbers. Stacks of warriors spill forth from Keith, blades and shootas at the ready..
Remember Vern from the previous match? He tried to take out the Yella Deff’s first grot, Snik, and got run down in return. Well, this time Grimfang wasn’t feeling so merciful, his hand-to-hand skills sharp after the last game. Down goes Vern!
Nazgrab’s boys manage to take down four of Da N00bz but is it enough? Not to be put off so easily, their nerve holds.
Just because a few lads went down, ain’t reason to be giving up. Eugene urges on his boyz!
With Krunch closing in and the rest of Da Yella Deff not far behind, a desperate plan is hatched. The lads may not be able to make it back to the trukk to claim the scrap on their own, but maybe by passing it from one lad to the other..? Let’s play “Pass Da Scrap”!
Innovative tactics just weren’t enough. Several of Da N00bz legged it with the scrap they were carrying, but this victory went to Nazgrab, who grabbed two of Da N00bz (and their trukk!) and dragged them back to his fort.

Nazgrab’s lads currently hold two captive orks and a trukk. Da N00bz are plotting their revenge..

Result: Victory to Nazgrab’s Yella Deff.