Our friends over at MiniWarGaming have started their third season of Gorkamorka!

It’s not often we see a video battle report for Gorkamorka but Craig has done us proud over on his Kiblams YouTube Channel. Da UN (Ugly Nastiez) face off against Da Gold Toofs in a civil discussion regarding salvage rights:

Here’s a direct link to the video in case the embedding doesn’t work for you.

There’s rumbling on the Facebook group about the next meetup although a date hasn’t been settled on just yet. If you’re interested pop over and let the guys know when works for you.

Last time was apparently a proper bash and there’s a full report over on YakTribe courtesy of ineptmule.

The meetups take place at Warhammer World in Nottingham:

When it comes to Gorkamorka there’s something that’s often overlooked – it wasn’t only released in English. We’re not sure how many languages were supported but so far the list runs to French, German (Thanks, Morx!), Italian, and Spanish. Flamekebab even has a copy of “Skavanob” kicking around apparently!

We’re not much help if you don’t speak English but we’ve recently found a blog publishing scans of lots of the old Gorkamorka content in French. From what we can tell it doesn’t have a fancy name but then again, we don’t speak French! Find it here:

http://gorkamorka.overblog.com

There’s also a Google Drive archive of their uploads here:

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0ByJiMxq7gEvmOVQ3MGRpVWQzblE

(Thanks to CrucibleOfWords for pointing out that we forgot the other sources link!)

Some greenskins over at We Bleedz Green are just getting started with their GoMo campaign and have posted a battle report that some of you might like.

The bikers of Project Badass 2 (Elektrik Boogaloo) took on the cage-loving orks of The Scorcha Boyz a few days ago in a bit of a beta test. It looks like there’s going to be more stuff coming out of We Bleedz Green so you might want to take a look at their blog.

We Bleedz Green

Tork’s Terrorz vs. Da Boot Of Da Proletariat
Scenario: Lootas (Da Uvver Book, scenario 3)

Tork’s Terrorz (200) are finally starting to get some respect in Mektown and are looking to capitalise on the momentum and ensure no Ork spits in their pints any more (or at least while they’re watching). Da Boot of Da Proletariat (152) are just starting out and really need a win. So far their head honcho, Vlad, has mostly been writing speeches and the GRC think it’s high time he started pulling his weight.

Da Plan – Tork’s Terrorz

So, we done custom, I meanz kustomised the speargun, and Larz is packin’ a spiffy new (old) shoota. That oughta impress those stuck-up green gitz in Mektown!

But they wasn’t too impressed when Ansvark’s spiffy new (old) choppa ‘sploded in his face last time. Maybe we should be more kunnin’ and pick on someone smaller.

They think, I meanz fink, we don’t see them ridin’ dis way, but a Digga can out-sneak a Grot any day. We blendz into da desert betta!

Da Plan – Da Boot of Da Proletariat

With da high windz today we shall utilise our extra speed to swoop in with our cuttas. Ded nippy in this weather!

Meanwhile the splattapult onboard da big lugga, as well as small armz fire from same will try to keep dem Diggas distracterised long enuff to cover da cuttas escape.

Trust me, ladz, we’ll be fine!

Turn 1

Spotting Vlad’s crew closing in Tork’s lads locked and loaded, heading straight for the Big Lugga with malicious intent. Balthazark, the mob’s shaman, grinned widely at the prospect of using the newly upgraded spear gun although his excitement was somewhat stymied by a minor stoppage after the first volley.

Peppering the enormous grot vehicle with spears was satisfying but despite penetrating its flimsy armour with ease very little actual damage seemed to occur.

Larz felt it was best to grab some of the scrap and prepare to intercept any Grots feeling particularly possessive.

Vlad decided to lead the cutta’s kiting attempt, pushing along the edge of the big dune and towards the filthy lucre. With the wind kicking up to gale proportions it was easy to travel 15”.

The other cutta was less fortunate, realising that the movement of the Digga trukk blocked the only way in for it. With minced curses the plucky green crew hopped off and lifted the whole vehicle, shuffling it into a 90° turn to starboard.

The big lugga, under the command of the banna waver pushed forward towards the Diggas, hoping for a ram and some good use of their new splattapult. Sluggas, six-shootas, and a single shoota were levelled at the Digga trukk but to no avail. Skee eyed the range and did his best but with a mighty twang he could only watch as the burna load he’d spent so long preparing spattered harmlessly on some barricades, leaving the enemy vehicle unscathed.

Turn 2

Wasting no time a neat thrust by Tork put the Digga trukk in the safe zone within which the splattapult could not hit them. Meanwhile Balthazark had cleared the stoppage and rattled off six spears in fewer seconds, exhausting his supply in doing so. This time the results were much more noticeable though as a direct hit on the cogs powering the huge vehicle were hit, exploding everywhere and throwing green skins in every direction!

Larz was not sitting on his hands and letting the rest of the lads have all the fun. Putting down the scrap he was lugging he hefted his new toy at the oncoming cutta. With a mighty “BRAKKA BRAKKA!” he found himself the proud owner of a fully-automatic shotgun, an easy match for any Ork kannon. Firing it felt good, but not for the grots! Vlad watched as the hull and sail of the cutta he was on rapidly became little more than holes connected by fine metal strips. Argh!

With two vehicles down and four lads out of action already Vlad couldn’t take the pressure and bottled, despite Flamekebab’s protestations and the GRC’s “Not A Single Step Back!” policy.

Aftermath

Of the grots taken out of action all made a full recovery, with the exception of Gorba, who Tork captured. The Big Lugga was patched up but became unreliable while the cutta was back up and running with minimal fuss.

Due to the big difference in mob ratings every grot levelled up, although Layka gained Impressive Scars and challenged for leadership, feeling Vlad had been given his chance.

A fight was held and Vlad cut the upstart down giving him a beating to remember. At least the head honcho got to save some face!

Aside from that not a single toof was earned, leaving the mob somewhat downcast.

Tork on the other hand was pleased as punch, taking home seven scrap counters. When combined with all the other income earned by the mob the lads rolled into Mektown with more teef than a shiver of squigsharks (Skippy actually hit the maximum bracket for income, earning over 50 teef before expenses!).

Result: Victory to Tork’s Terrorz.

Flamekebab and Skippy have started playing Gorkamorka on a regular basis and at the last clash Depiff just happened to be there to take notes to create a battle report. It’s been a while since we published one as, to be honest, taking the notes to make them slows down the game quite a bit.

Tork’s Terrorz vs. Grimlug’s Ladz
Scenario: Convoy (Digganob, scenario 2)

Tork’s Terrorz are a fledgling Digga mob who have played one game before this one and have just got a new Digganob thanks to some rather unfortunate advances. Hopefully Tork is going to prove himself to be the man for the job, having ousted Zognar.

Grimlug’s Ladz are an old favourite here at tUGS who may soon be facing temporary retirement (much like Nazgrab’s Yella Deff). Flamekebab does tend to manage to get pretty decent results from normal Orks, so perhaps he’ll try something a bit different from Gorkers and Morkers soon. In the meantime they’ve acquired a new trak, “Ruzt”, and another yoof to drive it.

With a mob rating of 130 and 221 respectively the Diggas stand to gain some real respect even if they don’t win. The scenario is Convoy and there are three scrap counters in play, one on the trak “Spike” and two on the trak “Ruzt”. Flamekebab’s Burna rules were used in this scenario and his pre-game reminder chart too. We also use our house rule that all players can roll for recovery in each recovery phase.

We’ve done our best to keep this in the present tense but it probably wanders all over the place, for which we apologise.As you can see, Grimlug’s Ladz are moving scrap through the desert and deploy near the centre of the board, travlin’ in single file, to konseel our numbaz!

Turn 1

Before anything else can take place Rotgrim, the burna boy, has to pass a leadership test, thanks to some good shooting by Tork’s mob last game. The secondary spanner boy is having to deal with his own Stupidity this game but manages to hold it together, at least for the moment.

Firing up the traks’ gas engines the convoy slowly picked its way through the canyon, carefully navigating around the large rocky outcroppings and assorted obstacles.

As much as they want to get the scrap to the Mekboys it’s just a bit boring, but no adversaries arrive this turn.

Turn 2

Rotgrim’s brain is starting to ache a bit, he’s got a thoroughly strange urge to try to chew on his own ears, but despite this he manages to keep a cool head. The convoy proceeds a little, taking care around the terrain. After all, if the cargo gets too damaged there won’t be any fungus bear, and that doesn’t make anyone happy!

Suddenly there is a loud revving and a lot of shouting hurtling towards the lead trak.

DIGGAZ!

The new Digganob, Tork, is clearly very eager to get into the action and to establish himself as one brave git.

T-boning the trak seems to be the best way to do it, but unfortunately something goes terribly wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

With an earth-shattering explosion the trukk’s engines explode throwing Diggas in all directions!

Zognar, the old Digganob, is thrown into a rock, taking several hits and going down.

Bathazark, Tork’s shaman, goes over the side taking a flesh wound and swearing profusely.

Aldorg ends up thrown clear of the wreckage, well behind the trukk. The shock proves too much for him and he goes down.

Ansvark joins him, but he’s not so easily phased and is back on his feet within a few moments.

Snikolai falls over the other side, getting a face full of tent and going down.

Tork himself is thrown head-first into the trak, braining himself and going out of action immediately.

Axel, the latest addition to the mob, finds himself bleeding with a trak bearing down on him. He hits the deck whimpering (down).

Larz keeps it together and hops over the edge of the vehicle and takes cover behind a wheel, shielding himself from the blast.

Knutta is not so fortunate, and finds himself in the middle of Spike, the Ork trak! The impact puts him down, or perhaps it’s the huge snarling warriors looking at him?

Dagfinn also thinks quickly, slinging his shoota over the edge and jumping after it, ready to enter the fray.

The trak driver also takes a hit, but it is just a small bit of shrapnel and doesn’t even wound the lucky blighter. Grimlug and his boys let out a hearty battle cry, happy for the distraction!

The four Diggas left standing are not about to let their mates cop it straight away, at least if they can help it, dakka dakka dakka!

Dagfinn lets off a burst of shoota fire at the trak, penetrating the armour and hitting Skrognik. The yoof snarls at him but no actual harm comes to the Ork. Larz takes a deep breath and squeezes the trigger on his blunderbuss, hitting Spike’s big grabber, unfortunately not doing any real damage. Lastly Bathazark tries his luck, firing his shoota at the trak, penetrating the armour but failing to cause any harm to anyone on board.

Turn 3

Rotgrim’s head is really starting to feel funny now, perhaps a little burnination will help clear his head. One failed ammo roll later and it seems the tubing was leaking the whole time as there’s barely enough fuel left. With any luck it’ll be up and running next turn for a little bit of hand to hand*.

While the spanner boy is having troubles with the world Ogkart, the driver of Ruzt and newest member of the mob isn’t doing much better, attempting to thrust and failing miserably.

Things aren’t going that much better onboard Spike as Wazbag fires his six shootas wildly at Dagfinn, pinning the poor Digga but failing to wound. Unluckily for the Digga though the Ork barely seems to notice as his six-shoota explodes in his hand. Apparently having an iron mask for a face rather changes your perspective on pain!

Attempting to mow the remaining opponents down ZodZod unleashes the squigs of war, firing a hail of ‘Eavy Shoota fire at Larz and Bathazark. Despite the volume of fire only a single shot hits each man, or so it would seem. Bathazark takes a hit but Larz hits the deck mere moments before hot lead fills the place he was standing, a feat that is no coincidence.

Spike’s driver, Zogdreg, feels a little left out with only downed and pinned targets to go for, but sadistically goes for Axel, hitting him but doing little more. Similarly Gorog’s kannon fire does little but deafen those around him, he just wanted to show off in front of the boss. Of course, Grimlug isn’t paying attention to Gorog, he’s levelling his own kannon at Ansvark, knocking him off his feet, putting him down.

Lastly, adding injury to injury (there’s probably a fair bit of insulting going on too, but the grievous bodily harm is more interesting!) Skrognik swings a finishing blow in the direction of Knutta, putting him out of the day’s proceedings.

In the recovery phase Zognar stays down, Axel is back up with a fleshwound (but still pinned) as is Aldorg, Bathazark has two flesh wounds but is at least pinned, much like Larz. Anzwark is not so lucky, passing out (Out of Action).

With nearly everyone pinned there’s not much Tork’s boys can do, but Aldorg at least makes a go of it, throwing a well intentioned frag stikkbomb at Ruzt with great enthusiasm; perhaps a little too much though as it goes right over the trak landing somewhere far off.

By the end of the turn most of the Diggas have shaken off their pressing desire to survive and recover from pinning, although Snikolai is still down.

*Technically he’s supposed to wait until turn 5 to be able to use it in hand to hand, but we didn’t realise our mistake until after we’d worked out the events of turn 4.

Turn 4

Rotgrim, baffled as to why he can’t get his burna working feels himself losing IQ points by the second. He’s stupid, at least for this turn. Wandering off the trak he decides to say hello to kindly Mr. Tent.

Aldorg’s grenade was apparently not so well received, and Aldorg finds himself facing three rather menacing greenskins; Gutrunt, Gorog, and Grimlug. Similarly displeased is Wazbag, not content with the minimal damage his six-shootas are causing he pulls a knife from his boot and advances on Dagfinn. As everyone else is doing it Skrognik decides to charge the pinned ex-Digganob who doesn’t look all that tough scrabbling in the dirt!

Left to supervise the scrap Ogkart figures he’d best get the trak facing in the right direction, muttering under his breathe about never getting to do anything fun he pulls a three-point turn so he can pick the lads up when they’re done, or if he’s really lucky, run over some pesky Diggas.

Zogdreg wishes he could move Spike, but ZodZod is quite happy where they are and you don’t mess about with a spanner boy standing behind your head with a loaded ‘Eavy Shoota. To pass the time he takes a few more potshots at Axel, pinning him again.

Squeezing the trigger and laughing, ZodZod has another go at Larz and Bathazark, missing the shaman completely and seeming to hit the Digga boy again, or so he thinks but the lack of blood is disturbing. The gunner is right – Larz wasn’t wounded, he dodged again!

Zognar, on seeing the advancing Ork yoof figures it’s as good an opportunity as any to try out his fancy new Archeotek. It’s a… thing, or something, if only he could get it working. Perhaps it’s this button? ZZZZZZZZZAP!

The old Digganob didn’t enjoy that, he’s not feeling particularly good any more (one flesh wound), but he really needs a decent weapon to take on that burly greenskin. One more try?

BZZZZZAP!

Another flesh wound later and the Digga decides those last two were practice run, it’ll definitely work this time!

WUMMMMM!

Nice! Some sort of power weapon!

Zognar fends off the blows as best he can but it seems the Ork yoof barely knows what he’s doing, as none of Skrognik’s blows manage to wound. The same can not be said of Gorog, who cuts Aldorg down in a flurry of blows, moving onto Dagfinn (accompanied by the others involved).

Mr. Tent is mean and doesn’t want to talk to Rotgrim. Rotgrim doesn’t like Mr. Tent. There’s a blue cutting flame coming from the end of his burna though so he tears Mr. Tent apart and follows up towards Dagfinn.

Speaking of Dagfinn, he manages to hold his nerve against the brown-trousers-inducing Ork that is Wazbag (and his fear causing Iron Mask). The scary git does get his adrenaline going though, which must be helping as he fends off everything that is thrown at him.

Recovery phase time – Snikolai is back on his feet, but pinned.

Tork’s brave warriors hold it together though, refusing to bottle. Bathazark even charges the Ork yoof that’s giving Zognar grief. Although the shaman’s abilities in melee combat are clearly superior Skrognik’s leathery skin just shrugs off the blows that land.

Zognar’s power weapon has no such trouble, and after a struggle he manages to draw blood, giving Skrognik a fleshwound. Dagfinn is not so lucky, ending up in pieces on the desert floor (presumably Wazbag got him, but the notes don’t record who struck the incapacitating blow).

Turn 5

Rotgrim doesn’t get much smarter this turn, but as Mr. Tent is gone perhaps it’s time to go home. He stumbles over to the other trak (Spike) and clambers aboard.

Grimlug has yet to get a taste of combat and is sick of it. He may have a gammy leg, but they should save some for him, he is in charge after all… Lumbering forward he gets stuck into Larz. Let’s see if he can dodge a choppa, shall we?

Wazbag moves on to Axel, while Gorog and Gutrunt take the fight to Snikolai.

Zogdreg and ZodZod find themselves a little short on targets and so sit there like lemon squigs. Ogkart is on the move though, heading forward to keep up with the fight.

Larz doesn’t manage to dodge the heavy blows Grimlug deals out, but he’s still remarkably lucky, escaping injury even when struck. Gutrunt has a bit more luck though – he’s not very skilful with his powerklaw, but when it hits, it hits. Snikolai didn’t stand a chance, really (Out of Action). He and Gorog then follow up to join Wazbag and Axel.

Axel doesn’t manage to deal any wounds to the rather tough Ork (T5), even though two of strikes connect.

Skrognik has got two Diggas on his hands but manages to put Bathazark, the shaman, out of action with relative ease. He is not so lucky against Zognar, whose power weapon puts the yoof out of action in short order. Zognar follows up by moving close to the trak, planning to exact revenge on the crew.

Heavy losses mean nothing to Tork’s Terrorz, passing their bottle test again. Zognar puts his plan into action and boards the stationary track.

There’s no shooting this turn though – everyone’s in hand to hand, getting their hands dirty like a proper greenskin.

Grimlug continues his onslaught on Larz and nearly hits him, but once again the slippery git dodges. That’s some impressive footwork, one must admit.

Axel has to deal with the frightening visage that is Wazbag and unlike Dagfinn starts gibbering, at which juncture Gutrunt puts a powerklaw in his personal space and squeezes. Understandably he goes Out of Action. Once again opponent-less Gutrunt heads towards Larz, whilst Gorog and Wazbag start to clamber onto the trak.

Zognar’s plan may not be entirely thought through, but he’s going for it anyway. Fortune favours the bold it seems (for now) as he takes on the thickie that is Rotgrim, hurling the spanner off the trak and putting him down. That went well!

Unfortunately he had forgotten about the other spanner boy, ZodZod, who has been feeling a bit left out. Laying into the poor Digga who does his best to dodge (he too has the Dodgy skill) but 75% of the blows still land, putting him Out of Action; the extra fleshwounds are too much to bear.

In the recovery phase Rotgrim manages to create a puddle of drool but still stays down.

Turn 6

Now empty of unwanted passenger Zogdreg guns Spike’s engines and starts moving forward while Ogkart tries his best to turn Ruzt to get in line.

Of all the Diggas there is only one left, Larz. Time for a famous last stand, he reckons.

Gutrunt flails wildly with his powerklaw but fails to wound the plucky Digga boy. Grimlug pushes the Ork aside and swings his choppa with brutal efficiency, inflicting eight hits on Larz. His luck persists to the end though as he dodges two strikes and avoids being wounded by a further two. Four hits from Grimlug is enough for anyone though, and he finally goes Out of Action.

With no more Diggas left on the board, Grimlug’s Lads are the victors.

Aftermath

Tork’s Terrorz are braver than they look – they fought to the last man, pretty admirable, one must admit.

In spite of their injuries many of the Diggas made a full recovery. Axel ended up with an old battle wound as did Knutta and missing an eye too. Bathazark received multiple injuries and woke up in extreme pain surrounded by Orks. Despite his condition he begged to join their mob, as per every Digga’s dream, but after some discussion he was found unworthy and was instead ransomed back for five teef. Aldorg was not so fortunate and Gorog’s attack was too much for him to bear. Mortally wounded he died before they could drag him back to the Pyramids.

Larz and Zognar both managed to survive against the odds though, proving themselves the ‘ardest in the mob by a long stretch. Similar fortune favoured their trukk, Gorkstad, which seemed to be working just fine after being left alone overnight. How odd.

Grimlug’s Ladz only had a single casualty – Skrognik, one of their yoofs (although he became a boy with the experience earned in this game). He did receive a leg wound though and when taken to the Dok ended up the not so proud owner of a peg leg. Marvellous.

Rotgrim’s wounds turned out to be largely superficial, although the same could not be said for the state of his brain. To the Dok he too was sent who didn’t know what to do with him, or perhaps he knew exactly what to do, even if it was somewhat eksperimental.

The rest of the mob weren’t that lucky either as there was a collapse in their scrap mine, injuring several of them. Full recoveries were made though, so it wasn’t all bad.

Overall it was an impressive game and Skippy should be applauded for getting into the spirit of the game. Many would bottle out, but not him. Like a true Digga he toughed it out to the bitter end to impress the greenskins. They were impressed enough to let the shaman go, in the spirit of Ghazghkull himself.

I let ‘im go ‘cause good enemies iz ‘ard to find, an Orks need enemies ta fight like they need meat ta eat an’ grog ta drink.

–Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka

Result: Victory to Grimlug’s Ladz.

The Questers of Magod vs. Da Not So N00bz
Scenario: Convoy (Digganob, scenario 2)

The Questers of Magod (177) are few in number but Matt has been building them up recently, rather than expanding their ranks, and now the time has come to take on one of the biggest mobs in our campaign – Da Not So N00bz (281).

Da Plan – The Questers of Magod

Okay up until this point the muties have been kinda cautious because they couldn’t really afford any sort of screw ups in terms of loss of guys, but now after a bunch of advances and a couple of victories we’ve actually got some guys who are competent boarders, they have the mutie boarding skill and so this is actually going to be a case of utter, utter shock and awe.

I’m going to hit the trukk with heavy weapons first and that’s going to cause, hopefully some gubbinz damage, which will cause scrap to shower around the trukk but if it doesn’t then the very worst it’s doing is inflicting damage. Once that happens the useful aspect there will be that my guys can attempt to board while the weaker members of the mob sidle up, take the scrap, and start to run while the other guys finish combat. The thing with the mutie, he’s going to get a vicious, vicious fight, both my melee combatants, my guys with melee weapons, are brutally powerful now in comparison to most, so that’s going to be fun to do.

Otherwise the simple tactic is a very quick shock and awe job.

Da Plan – Da Not So N00bz

Here’s the plan..

The plan is – we’re going to get really, really drunk and go to the Skid and steal some stuff, some shiny stuff, and then we’re going to make a break for it before the other guys come.

But don’t tell anyone!

Da Not So N00bz are attempting to get to Mektown with their latest scrap haul but the muties have other plans for them, riding in for an ambush. The Gorker mob have four pieces of scrap, three on their trukk, one on their bike. To win the muties have to secure the majority of it, the orks merely have to escape. Due to only having one trukk, the number of orks onboard was increased to make the fight a little more fun, there were also a few other tweaks that may get a mention later.

The muties got the first turn, closing in on the Orks and preparing to rain hell on them.

Try as they might, they weren’t able to damage the trukk, although they were now in position to take on the trukk when it would inevitably fail its thrust test..

Which it promptly did, stranding the orks in the open. Eugene, the Gorker nob, was not too happy about this and took out his frustrations on Mol, a nearby mutie ‘Unk, putting the warrior down and coaxing a grin from the snarling Ork.

Meanwhile, Newton, the biker, and the mob’s grot, Horace (hanging on for dear life), fired up their thrusters and zipped off the nearest board edge carrying a chunk of scrap with them. 1-0 to Da Not So N00bz.

With one scrap counter gone, the muties were not about to hang around, so whilst most of the mob took up positions to take shots at the vehicle, both Mol and Magnus, the mutie seeker, charged towards the stalled trukk and pounced aboard, causing chaos left and right, but ultimately resulting in them both being forcibly ejected by Eugene and Clive. Perhaps leaping into a crowd of angry Orks armed to the teeth wasn’t such a hot idea, but at least the pounce skill was finally put to the test (another first for our campaign).

Leonard, the trukk, recovered and was chugging away safely until a turn was required, at which point the driver lost concentration and the whole vehicle slewed out of control wildly, spinning and ending up tantalisingly close to the edge of the board (and safety!).

Unable to escape this turn, the crew open fire on the muties, driving them back a little. Hopefully it’ll be enough.

Realising how hard it would be to win in hand to hand with the remaining orks, the muties kept their distance, utilising their fancy ranged weaponry instead. Magnus damaged the wheels, but it was the mutie keeper, Statistix, who really outdid himself, overcharging his weapon (which promptly exploded..) and penetrating the vehicle’s armour, crippling it and immobilising it. Unfortunately for the Orks, he also hit the fuel lines, leaving the trukk prone to explosion at random.

Further bad luck – the weapon’s explosion was deflected by the mutie’s armour, leaving Statistix unarmed but healthy. Bad luck comes in threes it would seem…

The fuel had a 1/6 chance of exploding at the start of every turn, but it didn’t feel like waiting around – the whole thing went up with a wonderful WHOOMPH! or possibly a BOOM! Who can say?

Orks and scrap were hurled in every direction (the rules didn’t stipulate that the scrap should be hurled, but it seemed sensible and entertaining). Each warrior took a S4 hit and many of them went down, although most recovered in the following turn. Those that weren’t down moved to grab some scrap, whilst the others just lay there groaning. The Questers of Magod saw their chance and ran in to grab the precious scrap that had been thrown from the trukk, ignoring the orks for the time being, although a few took some pot-shots for good measure. Finally the last of the Orks legged it off the table, one of them carrying a scrap counter, ending the game.

The Questers of Magod – 2
Da Not So N00bz – 2

Result: A draw!

Draws do occasionally happen, although they’re quite rare, but these two mobs were relatively evenly matched. That said, had the whole of Da Not So N00bz been present, it’s far less likely that the muties would have done so well. Another factor was the need to escape – these Gorkers are great in a fight, but getting away with loot isn’t really their style.

There were a few serious injuries, but the vehicle was fine. One ork did pay a visit to Doc Kromlech though and woke up with a kustom thrusta boosta built into his chest:

The model isn’t finished, but we wanted to share the in-progress shot of da patient. Comments?

If you visit the site regularly you might have read some of our battle reports, such as the recent battle we had between muties and freebootaz. The Questers of Magod are our campaign’s mutie mob who have had steady growth in both skills and killiness.

We’ve not encountered many other mutie mobs online but there’s probably some out there (comment and let us know if you have one). Regardless, we thought you might be interested in the first (and as far as we know only) mutie battle report published in White Dwarf back in July 1998, well over eleven years ago.

In this article Paul Miller’s Diggas, Da Mashers, face off against Gav Thorpe’s muties, The Brethren of Magod, in We Woz ‘Ere Furst.

Download PDF

Whiskey Delta 4 vs. Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb
Scenario: We Woz ‘Ere Furst (Da Uvver Book, scenario 2) 

We’ve been working on a new mob for GoMo as part of ‘Ere Be Stuff, as you may have read. The rules aren’t quite finished yet, but they’re together enough to playtest, so here’s a battle report from the first playtest. Sorry about the delay!

On the bottom edge of the board we’ve got the Dust Rats, a mob known as Whiskey Delta 4. On the top edge we’ve got the Freebooter mob, Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb. The scenario is We Wuz Ere Furst and there’s a full six scrap counters on the board, marked in this image to give an idea where they are (sorry for the blurriness!). The objective is of course to grab as much as possible and try to make sure the other mob bottles out empty-handed.

A new feature we’re trying out for battle reports is “Da Plan” – players give a quick run-down of their plan for the scenario (in secret) so we can see how badly things go wrong:

Da Plan – Whiskey Delta 4

Okay, here’s the plan..
There’s scrap spread about the board so I’m going to try to move as fast as I can and pick them up and then get the hell out of there, because I don’t think my guys are going to be able to stand up to such a pounding. His lads, well, they’re already half bionik, so I’ve got to be careful.

I’ve also split my guys into their two Light Recon Vehicles, or Recce vehicles, so I’ve got one that’s mostly ranged and one that’s mostly hand-to-hand combat. So we’ll see how it goes – hopefully that’ll work best, playing to their strengths rather than trying to get a mixed bag/jack-of-all-trades.

Da Plan – Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb

Get very careful note of this – in true orky fashion, I have no plan!

I’m going to shoot them, I’m going to fight them, I’m going to bite them..
..and then I’m going to try to get the scrap!

So, let’s get started!

Whiskey Delta 4 get the first turn and send one of their grunts, Howe, to grab some scrap lurking in some difficult terrain. With a man on the ground the two LRVs thrust forward to close the gap between the scrap and themselves. The commanding officer, Togan, takes his hand-to-hand guys up the left side of the board whilst the veteran, Daggat, tries to take the right flank. In doing so he ends up with a clear shot at the Freebooter Kaptin, Grob.

This is the first instance of the increased range of the Dust Rats coming into play, although in this case the bumpiness of the vehicle makes the shot miss by a hefty margin. The orks are up, with Steerrraaagh! at the helm they cruise forward, planning to make a turn and ram the oncoming LRV perhaps, but the vehicle won’t budge from its course, resulting in a stall. Amazingly the nearby rocks were avoided!

Luckily for Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb, the crazed Dok who hacked off the legs of two of the crew (whether they needed it or not..) saw fit to give them transport in the form of tracks and a gyro-stabilised monowheel. This did have the unfortunate side effect of getting the old Kaptin the nickname “Captain Hula-hoop”, but the less said about our stand-in monowheel the better.

Grob, current freebooter kaptin, fires up his traks’ thrusters and heads over to the scrap hiding behind the rocky outcrop. Meanwhile the old Kaptin, Carrudders, trundles over to the large dune to see if he can find a way up to the juicy scrap.

Contrary to the original rules, we play ammo rolls on 1s, rather than sixes. This does mean that occasionally a weapon jams immediately, but that’s just part of the chaos of GoMo.

Why does this matter? Well, Wabdash, the dead-eye of Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb, was planning on putting a nice big hole in the engine block of the Dust Rats’ LRV, only to find he’d actually forgotten to reload his weapon!

WHICH WUN OV YOO ZOGGERZ NICKED ME SHELLZ?!
-Wabdash

Back to the Dust Rats, Whiskey Delta 4:

Howe can’t really go anywhere fast carrying the scrap he’s dug up, but he also doesn’t want the orks getting it either. All he’s got his his carbine and some cover, so he gets himself in position and goes on overwatch.

(We’ve not actually had anyone go on overwatch before – the last warrior that tried to get a good shot lined up ended up getting splattered by a speeding trukk before he could declare overwatch!)

Before the brown LRV heads further forward, Daggat jumps off and heads towards the watchtower, hoping to get a good vantage point for his long rifle.

The mob’s CO, Togan, also opts to get his feet dirty and hops off the speeding jeep, easily passing the required initiative test. Once on the ground he runs up the dune, getting close to the scrap.

Time for the freebooters to fight back!

Steerrraaagh! guides Da Jolly Squig around the LRV, dropping off the two of the crew to deal with it. Unfortunately, Da Banga and Wabdash are not having a good day and both end up with a gob full of sand when they try to storm the vehicle.

Steerrraaagh! isn’t actually having much luck either – the Bad Mek jumps off to try to claim the scrap only to have the lurking Dust Rat, Howe, take a potshot at him (he missed) and then have the driver stall the trukk on top of the prize. Well done, that ork..

Lastly, the orks try to take a shot with their harpoon gun only to jam the damn thing, or maybe they’re just out of ammo there too? (I believe they fired it previously but didn’t scratch the LRV, which is surprising given how weak the armour on an LRV is!)

The Dust Rats are on the move again, trying to hold onto their advantage. Howe starts moving towards the edge of the board with his scrap, keeping an eye on the trukk in the distance.

CO Togan grabs the scrap atop the dune whilst the LRV below performs slow speed manoeuvres to turn the vehicle around (represented here by a very distorted arrow). The other LRV starts heading towards the other board edge, getting near Grob, the freebooter kaptin.

Veteran Daggat begins his ascension of the watchtower, getting to the first level where there’s a reasonable amount of cover. Rolko fires his machine pistol at the ork taking cover within the barricades, but doesn’t hit him. He’s also not got any ammo left, ah well!

The orks are up again and this time they’re not messing about – Steerrraaagh! rams the brown LRV, taking out its thrusters, effectively hobbling it.

To follow up, the trukk pulls up alongside the LRV and the crew try to jump aboard, with marginally more success. Wabdash faceplants once again and the kabin boy, the now redundant harpoon gunner, gets minced between the two vehicles, putting himself out of action. Nice one.

Not to be put off by this, Da Banga grabs a firm handhold and prepares to furnish Feddick with a few fresh orifices.

Remarkably, the grunt puts up a good fight, holding the burly freebooter at bay and drawing combat. Impressive, but it’s probably only a matter of time before he takes a beating.

Reacting to the unexpected passenger, the plank driving the brown LRV pushes the vehicle’s gas engines to their limit as he tries to get to the edge of the board, only just falling short.

Meanwhile, Togan scrambles down the dune bank onto the waiting LRV, which starts on its way to the other table edge, planning on picking up the sniper later. He’s a veteran, he knows what he’s doing!

As it happens, he does, and once he’s on the second level of the watchtower with some scrap at his feet, he makes it known. A single shot rings out and the freebooter bad mek’s day is ruined, as he’s out of action. Good night, gracie.

With that, it’s the freebootaz turn, although it doesn’t really begin, as they’ve had enough. Well done, Dust Rats!

Result: Victory to Whiskey Delta 4.

We made a few notes along the way, as this was a playtest, but I think they would be more appropriate in a separate post.

As always, any comments can go in the comments below.

The Questers of Magod vs. Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb
Scenario: Convoy (Digganob, scenario 2)

In the first clash between the two underdogs of the GoMo campaign there’s everything to play for as they meet in the desert. Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb (recently renamed for clarity) are attempting to haul their looted/stolen/found booty back to Mektown only to be attacked by Da Skid’s mounted menace, The Questers of Magod. So, who will win – pirate orks or mutant cowboys?

Here’s the setup, with muties indicated by the yellow arrows. The freeboota trukk is in the centre, indicated by the red measuring ruler. They’re carrying three pieces of scrap and a skeleton crew. They take the first turn, seeing the muties closing in.

Attempting to get into a better position for escape the orks get themselves onto the safer side of the difficult terrain and barricades – better one mutie than three, right lads?

Roja mans the harpoons and goes for the mutie with the huge plasma staff thingy (a Jezzail) but the trukk’s a boneshaker and his shot misses, impaling the nearby tent.

Wabdash has better luck and manages to give him a flesh wound but Commissar Statistix isn’t going down without a fight, clearly.

Not to be left empty handed the muties close the gap while their heavy support, Commissar Statistix, holds steady, planning his shot.

When the time is just right he takes his shot, damaging the harpoon gun onboard Da Jolly Squig. The damage isn’t extensive but it should make it even harder for the freebootaz to use their best ranged weapon.

DAT CHEEKY ZOGGER!
-Da Kaptin

Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb grin as their driver guns Da Jolly Squig’s engine and tries to make street pizza of Commissar Statistix, who passes his initiative test easily and deftly dodges. Da Kaptin wants his revenge though and puts the mutie down with a lucky shot from his shoota.

Pyoor skill, yer git!
-Da Kaptin

The muties pull it together though and get into range and open fire and damage Da Jolly Squig’s wheels, shaking up the crew but not scaring them off.

Immobilise their transport, brothers, they must not escape!"
-Seeker Magnus

Covered by hail of harpoons and kannon fire from the crew the landing party disembark, charging towards the nearest mutie, Commissar Statistix. Using their recently acquired growler squigs they take the Keeper down, ouch!

Their trukk is now temporarily immobilised as the driver was one of the crew who disembarked (represented by the model “Grob”). The muties have got the mob where they want them now, but can they claim the upper hand?

  The muties open fire on the landing party as best they can but it’s no good, Steerrraaagh! and Da Kaptin are too gnarly. An explosion from Magnus’ fusil hits the freeboota leader full in the chest but once the smoke clears and the echoes die away all that can be heard is the taunting laughter of Da Kaptin.

Yarrharrrharr! DAT ALL YE GOT, YER PANZIES?!
-Da Kaptin

Steerrraaagh! charges Magnus, the mutie Seeker, and gets in two powerful blows but it’s no good, his armour is just too tough and it’s not long until skill prevails and the ork goes out of action. One casualty each!

Meanwhile one of the mutie Snagas is getting into some cover nearby and taking shots at Da Kaptin, eventually giving him a fleshwound, no armour protecting him from that.

Taking the hint, Da Kaptin boards Da Jolly Squig again and yells at the gunner to grab the wheel. After a few slow speed manoeuvres they’re eventually back to facing a useful direction – time to squish some mutie scum!

While they’re doing that they’re having some issues, mainly because Baccus is dodging between the rock spires in the distance taking  potshots at them. That hit-and-run riding skill he’s got is proving very handy.

Unfortunately for the freebootaz, they’re about to find out why the gunner is just that..

Firing up the thrusters it’s only a few seconds before there’s an almighty crunch of tortured metal. Well, that’s the thrusters gone.

Arrr! We’ve run aground, Cap’n!
-Soon to be keel-hauled stand-in driver

The muties rain fire on the stricken vehicle but apparently Magnus has other ideas, missing completely and destroying the poor tent. Oh the humanity!

Disembarking once again, Da Kaptin charges Mol and after a struggle takes him down with a heavy blow to the head. One lump or two?

With only the Seeker and a lone Snaga left on the board, the muties have had enough, they decide to cut their losses and bottle out.

They may scare easily, but I suspect they’ll soon be back, and in greater numbers..

Result: Victory to Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb

In the post game sequence Mol was found to have a headwound from the bludgeoning he received, but he wasn’t disheartened. Quite the opposite, it seems to have knocked some confidence into him, enough to challenge Magnus for leadership! Ultimately Magnus proved to be a better shot, but it took several rounds to establish who was better.

The mutie Keeper, Commissar Statistix, also ended up with a headwound. That could be an issue in future..

By comparison the mutie mob had an uneventful time, as Da Cuttas Ov Da Jibb may have won, but that wasn’t enough for the first mate. He wasn’t in the battle, but he did get to go in for a spot of serjery, emerging with tracks instead of legs and a steel skull. The increased leadership this gave him made him challenge Da Kaptin for command, a pitfight which he won. Da Kaptin ended up in Da Dok’s Serjery too afterwards, finding himself the proud owner of a gyro-stabilised monowheel, even though his old legs were just fine.

Once the parts from MaxMini arrive there’ll be some fresh bionik orks on the table, no waiting around!

Nazgrab’s Yella Deff vs. Cuttas Ov Da Jib
Scenario: One of our ladz is missin’ (Da Uvver Book, scenario 7)

In a previous run in with Nazgrab and his boys most of the freebooters made it out, but one boy fell behind, Da Kaptin’s second in command, Grob. The poor bugger was not in a good way either, with a two crippled legs, a head wound and an old battle wound. Things could hardly get much worse for him, but Da Kaptin was not willing to deal with new recruits, so a full-on raid was staged.

Whilst the game lasted only five turns, plenty of blood was shed, even though only Nazgrab and Morduff were on the table, reinforcements not managing to make it in time for the brawl.

Nazgrab took up position in full cover (-2 to hit) on the gate’s ramparts with Morduff eyeing the intruders through his single remaining eye (probably not helped by his huge iron mask, a result of a recent visit to da dok). The lack of ballistic skill of little concern to him, holding his two favourite choppas.

Their composure was short-lived, however, as Wabdash took the gate off its hinges, creating some rough terrain for vehicles but practically laying out a red carpet for warriors on foot. Freebootaz certainly know their way around kannons!

Nazgrab took aim at the trukk, doing his best to do some damage to it. Unfortunately, whilst he hit it (not hard with a BS of 5..), his shoota was just too damn weedy to do any harm.

Knowing full well that Nazgrab couldn’t do much against them, the freebootaz advanced, moving their trukk around and disembarking, eager to reclaim their lost crewmate.

It was at this juncture that they got within Morduff’s reach and the vicious git dived in, tackling Da Banga’ and making enough of a mess of him that he was out straight away.

Having made short work of one freeboota, Morduff advanced on Wabdash, the plucky kannoneer. He didn’t fare much better, quickly going down to the relentless pummelling heading his way.

Da Kaptin on the other hand was having none of this and skilfully matched the defender blow for blow, leaving combat at a stalemate.

Seeing the vicious hand to hand going on below him, a thought occurred to Nazgrab – there was a fight in his fort but he wasn’t involved in it!

Not to be bested by a mere boy, Nazgrab dived from his vantage point into the frenzy, taking down Da Kaptin in a flurry of precise blows from his trusty choppa. It’s not just for decoration!

Not content with that and seeing that the captive had been freed by Gutsmek, the nob took the burly bad mek out. Permanently as it would later become clear.

Then there was the escaping captive, presently armed solely with a knife. Short work was made of him.

With no foot warriors left on the battlefield, it was remarkable that the freebootaz nerve held, but grabbing their wounded they chose to scarper off the edge of the board, technically winning by the conditions we decided upon (they freed the captive, after all!).

Being the underdogs by 110 rating points, the win secured them a hefty 20 teef of extra income and a rather pleasant +9 experience point bonus for each surviving member. Unfortunately, whilst they’d got their crewmate back, it had cost them their bad mek, a rather vital mobster. To the job pole, lads!

Result: Victory to Cuttas Ov Da Jib

Nazgrab’s Yella Deff vs. The Questers of Magod
Scenario: Da Seige (Da Uvver Book, scenario 6)

Recently a rather brave young seeker named Magnus drew together a group of like-minded mutie warriors in order to start a crusade against the green menace, calling themselves the Questers of Magod. The group’s membership comprised of two snaga brothers, Bacus and Bucus, a keeper named Statistix and a single ‘unk, Mol. United in their goal, they set out to take the fight to the orks.

The first real test of their abilities came when they encountered the fort of Nazgrab’s Yella Deff, inside which there were piles of freshly dug scrap – lost technologies that could be of great worth to all mutie kind.

What follows is an account of that first raid.

Attacking with the sun at their heels, the first obstacle to their success was the fort itself and its formidable gate. Fortunately their keeper wielded a jezail, quite capable of punching an entrance for them, as long as he could get close enough to use it.

With the rest of the party providing covering fire, Statistix lined  up the shot. The blast was prodigious but not enough to take down the gates, striking true but merely rattling the great portal.

Unfortunately this made the keeper vulnerable for a few moments as his weapon recharged in preparation for a second attempt. Nazgrab had felt the jolt of the blow and was about to return the favour, firing his shoota over the barricades at the exposed mutie, pushing him back, nearly causing his steed to flee.

Meanwhile, Morduff’s head wound was acting up, riling him up and giving him a taste for mutie blood. Charging across the walkways to get a better look he was disappointed to see they were still hanging back. Soon he would get his chance, but not before Bacus could level his caliver at him and take a chunk out of him.

Reinforcements were on the way though and a cheer went up from the defenders upon seeing Krunch on the scene. With ‘Ardkop at the wheel and a few shootas behind him for support, it would soon seem quite foolish to attack this particular fort.

Firing up the thrusters, Krunch proceeded to be the weapon of choice against the intruders, running down Statistix (putting him out of the fight) and downing Bucus, one of the snaga brothers.

The muties move in, trying to get enough firepower into the fight, but this merely provides Morduff with the opportunity he needs. Diving from the walls the enthusiastic but incapable morker boy takes on the muties’ ‘unk. A fierce melee ensues, eventually resulting in Morduff emerging, bloodied but happy, looking for his next mutie target.

In the following minutes the raiding party exchanged fire with the buggy and the fort defenders with some success, disabling Krunch’s twin-linked shoota. It was around this time that Snik, Nazgrab’s first and favourite grot, lost his mind and became frenzied, probably due to the severe headwound he’d recently suffered. Charging towards Bucus perhaps seemed like a good idea but it was only a moment before the little greenskin was cut down. Permanently. (RIP, Snik..)

Morduff’s luck also ran out, taking on Bacus, the other snaga brother and losing. Choppablock was not about to see his mate go down though and followed him, choppas at the ready. His luck held steady and he proceeded to cut down both Bacus and Bucus, avenging the fallen grot.

With only Magnus left on the battlefield (mostly) unscathed, the raiding party decided to cut its losses and retreat. Perhaps next time Magod will smile upon their boldness.

Neither Snik nor Bucus made it out of the fight alive. You will be remembered. Probably.

Result: Victory to Nazgrab’s Yella Deff

Transcribed from play-by-play Twitter updates:

Nazgrab’s Yella Deff vs. Da Not So N00bz
Scenario: One of our ladz is missin’ (Da Uvver Book, scenario 7)

Da N00bz are not happy – Nazgrab’s Yella Deff have a couple of their missing lads and their beloved war trukk, Keith. Not for long, or so goes the plan. A daring raid is attempted whilst most of the mob are away from the fort, wish them luck!
The boyz are out, but some of the older lads are still home, namely Nazgrab, Grimfang and Choppablock. Unfortunately, only Grimfang manages to dodge the hail of gunfire delivered by Da Not So N00bz as they approach the walls. Both Nazgrab and Choppablock go down! Dakka! Dakka!
Luckily for Nazgrab, all the commotion was loud enough to be heard by the rest of the mob in a nearby canyon. Rushing back on both Krunch and Grin, the boyz open fire and cut a swathe through the attackers.
Da Not So N00bz storm the fort, clambering over the walls and freeing their imprisoned comrades. Nazgrab is back on his feet and attempts a jumping charge from the ramparts. Sadly for him, Eugene has his choppa conveniently waiting for him and the poor Morker nob goes down. Meanwhile, Choppablock and Grimfang join the melee that has broken out at the foot of the walls. It’s not long before a resounding “thud!” is heard as one of the Gorkers takes Choppablock down. Ouch.
Excellent use of krak stikkbombz sees Da Not So N00bz blow the bloody doors off and fire up Keith. Nazgrab’s boyz have had enough! They’re offski! Da Not So N00bz reclaim their boyz and their ride, taking a few moments to leave a few “presents” for the fort’s absent residents..

Result: Victory to Da Not So N00bz

Transcribed from play-by-play Twitter updates:

Da N00bz vs. Nazgrab’s Yella Deff
Scenario: We Woz ‘Ere Furst(Da Uvver Book, scenario 2)

The bitter rivals have once again found themselves facing off, will Da N00bz take back their stolen pride? Once again Grimfang, Da Yella Deff’s de facto second in command is manning Grin, the mob’s buggy. Zagwazza goes a little pale as he sees Keith, Da N00bz enormous trukk barrelling towards him! Argh!
Driving comes naturally to Morkers, otherwise Grin would have been toast. Today Mork smiled upon Zagwazza and Grin pulled through moderately unscathed. The same could not be said for Keith! Its driver, Leonard, tried valiantly but the lads were headed straight for that very solid-looking hill. Crunch! That was Keith immobilised again, ouch.
What Da N00bz lack in driving skills, they certainly make up for in sheer numbers. Stacks of warriors spill forth from Keith, blades and shootas at the ready..
Remember Vern from the previous match? He tried to take out the Yella Deff’s first grot, Snik, and got run down in return. Well, this time Grimfang wasn’t feeling so merciful, his hand-to-hand skills sharp after the last game. Down goes Vern!
Nazgrab’s boys manage to take down four of Da N00bz but is it enough? Not to be put off so easily, their nerve holds.
Just because a few lads went down, ain’t reason to be giving up. Eugene urges on his boyz!
With Krunch closing in and the rest of Da Yella Deff not far behind, a desperate plan is hatched. The lads may not be able to make it back to the trukk to claim the scrap on their own, but maybe by passing it from one lad to the other..? Let’s play “Pass Da Scrap”!
Innovative tactics just weren’t enough. Several of Da N00bz legged it with the scrap they were carrying, but this victory went to Nazgrab, who grabbed two of Da N00bz (and their trukk!) and dragged them back to his fort.

Nazgrab’s lads currently hold two captive orks and a trukk. Da N00bz are plotting their revenge..

Result: Victory to Nazgrab’s Yella Deff.

Transcribed from play-by-play Twitter updates:

Nazgrab’s Yella Deff vs. Ross’ Freebootaz (unnamed for now)
Scenario: Lootas (Da Uvver Book, scenario 3)

This time around the tables have been turned, although Da N00bz are nowhere to be found. Instead there appear to be some zoggin’ freebootaz on the rampage. Krasher mans Krunch’s big grabber again, tearing the bandits’ undercarriage off, immobilising them. Score.
Their ride may be down but these pirates aren’t going to let that keep them down. On foot they start gathering as much scrap as possible, putting them in a good position to come out the victors of this scrape.
Whatz dat, da boss iz in trubble?! Let’z go! Grin flies onto the board to help nail these pesky thieves, putting the morkers at a significant advantage in terms of movement.
Seeing reinforcements on the way, the boyz take heart and lay down some covering fire. Nazgrab’s shoota hits da kaptin, but the rich git was wearing armour! Argh!
The backup lads are in the fray now, hopefully they can do some good!
Choppas and blood flies in all directions as a huge scrap breaks out around the freebootaz’ vehicle. Can they hold steady?
Grimfang has learnt his lesson since last game, picking his targets. Amazingly Mork smiles on him this time. The slaver charges and then follows up in a split second butchering three freebootaz in one go!
Meanwhile, Nazgrab and Da Kaptin are at each other’s throats. Steal me scrap?! I’ll clobber yer!

It’s all over, with just one freeboota left on the board, they scarpered!

Result: Victory to Nazgrab’s Yella Deff

Transcribed from play-by-play Twitter updates:

Da N00bz vs. Nazgrab’s Yella Deff
Scenario: Lootas (Da Uvver Book, scenario 3)

Da N00bz have been diggin’ scrap today, but Nazgrab and his lads are feeling greedy.. Lots of yummy scrap was up for grabs, although Da N00bz might still make a break for it and take the fruits of their labour with them, if only they could get their gas turbines back online.
Nazgrab’s buggy, Krunch rams Keith, Da N00bz’ trukk, immobilising itself! Luckily it wasn’t all bad news, Da N00bz boy Sid was taken out in crash of steel on steel.
With Krunch out of commission, there was nothing else to do but open fire. Gubzo let loose with his twin-linked shoota, peppering Keith and damaging its upper cog links, reducing its movement. It should be noted that this is the first time that the weapon hasn’t jammed or run out of ammo!
Da N00bz step up and start taking shots at Krunch as the crew cower behind the little cover the buggy affords. Vern’s rain of slugga fire pins the Yella Deff’s grot, Snik – get yer ‘ed down!
Vern’s cheers are short-lived however, as the Yella Deff’s trukk, Grin, arrives to lend some support. Down goes the poor lad as Zagwazza runs him over. Now for a field run of the mob’s brand new gubbinz, a vicious looking big grabber. Krasher mans the controls and tears the nob pins from Keith, immobilising it for the rest of the game. Ouch!
It’s all getting a bit much for Da N00bz and they start to retreat, trying to cut their losses.
Grimfang, the Yella Deff’s slaver fancies himself as a bit of a ‘ard nut and tries to take on one of Da N00bz. No such luck, he goes down like a sack of spuds. Better luck next time, mate.
Choppablock, an old hand deciding to get back into the hunt for scrap. Hailing from the old days he’s finally healed up and ready to give it a go. It shows too as he takes on Duhwayne from Da N00bz and is able to keep him at bay for two rounds without result. Hang in there, lad.
Krukzog decides to make himself useful and skewers Da N00bz leader, Eugene, with a harpoon, putting him down.
With that the game is over, Da N00bz scarpered and Nazgrab’s Yella Deff cleaned up all that juicy scrap. Unfortunately, despite this victory, there were casualties. Grimfang ended up at the dok’s with a head wound and came out with a twinging head, seems something might have been left behind.. Not so lucky was Thogskin, who that dastardly Vern actually killed! You’ll not be forgotten, my son!

Da N00bz vs. Nazgrab’s Yella Deff
Scenario: One of our ladz is missin’ (Da Uvver Book, scenario 7)

As you may be aware, Nazgrab’s Yella Deff were the laughing stock of Mektown, having a total of zero victories to their name. Despite a rescue attempt, one of their lads was still in the hands of a rapidly expanding Morker mob called Da N00bz.

There was a mob rating difference of ~40, making the mob underdogs by quite a considerable margin, but no boyz left behind, not in Da Yella Deff!

Still, in true over-compensating tradition, Nazgrab rallied his boys, including their new slaver, Grimfang, and his grot, Snik, to make another go of it.

Despite the risk of taking in their wheels, their harpoon-packing war trukk, Grin, Nazgrab thought it best to get in fast, getting him to the fort in no time, well before any of Da Noobz could get back.

The only one left to guard the captive was Milty, an ork with little interest in shootas, preferring the weight of his trusty choppa. Krukzogput him down with a single harpoon bolt, although Milty was on his feet in good time to see the rest of his mates roll up:

Hearing the roar of engines in the distance, Zagwazza had brought the trukk ‘round the back, ready for a quick exit once the lads had clambered over the walls. Nazgrab and the rest of the mob had meanwhile been getting into the fort over the wall and doing their best to cut Ardkop free, just in time to see Da N00bz arrive in force:

Nazgrab was, unsurprisingly, bricking it, looking down the barrel of at least five weapons, let alone enough cutlery to cut him and his lads into very small pieces!

A salvo of shots rang out, all aimed at the poor nob, but much to his amazement, only a single shot found its mark, clipping his shoulder. (Sid later claimed it was a round from his shoota that did the damage, earning him a free round at the brew house)

Get up yez, yer blind zoggaz!
-Nazgrab

Not too happy about being used as a distraction, Nazgrab turned around to see that Thogskin had managed to get Ardkopout of his shackles.

Seeing the look on Grimfang’s face and knowing he had to make a call on whether they stayed on to fight or hightailed it like cowardly grots, Nazgrab yelled the command:

Leggit, lads!!
-Nazgrab

A mad dash for the wall ensued and all but Snik made it over. Pushed to the back of the group, the grot was suddenly feeling very lonely on top of the wall, surrounded by snarling orks.

With similar freakish fortune, most of the shots missed their mark, although he did hit the deck when a shot clipped him in the leg, giving him a moment to consider how much nicer his shoota was than the puny slugga Horace was allowed to wield. Snik considered that whilst things were looking bad, at least his mob looked after their own.

Managing to sling himself over the wall, Snik rejoined the mob, much to his relief, even if Grimfang wasn’t looking too pleased about the wait. Better the devil you know, eh?

With an ascending whoosh of gas turbines firing up, the lads were away, yelling insults and cheering. Finally, a big one up for the good guys!

Result: Victory to Nazgrab’s Yella Deff.